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11.12.2009

I have nothing to write about.

Well that’s not entirely true…
I could tell you all about the Y and how delightfully wonderful treadmills, ellipticals, and stationary bikes, etc are – seriously you know they are quite newfangled and time you and count calories burned and heart rates and all that jazz. Or perhaps how annoyed I am that lap swim is not really available until 8pm because of swim lessons, but it is free from 5am-8am. I am pretty excited about some classes too.
Perhaps I could tell you all about my wonky knitting projects where I invented own pattern because I have trouble reading directions – but that seriously is boring as all get out.
Or maybe I should write about how it’s November 12th and I have not made a single Christmas present. And for about 2 seconds I thought might buy presents this year because I’m behind before I start. And when I go to the studio to make something, all chalk full of ideas and with enriching enthusiasm, I can’t seem finish anything and I don’t think if I did it would be anything that can be turned into a gift.
I could tell you about my tomato plant in the backyard that doesn’t realize its November not August and still has fruit on it. It must have heard how that I really wanted to make pico de gallo – but I’m slightly scared to make anything with my tomato because of the giant oil leak. Although we did have one in soup a week or so ago and we aren’t dead yet.
I could think of a whole mess of boring nothingness for today… to substitute for what I really want to write about but have been refraining from… My mom’s divorce.
I’ve been very hesitant to mention this much because sometimes things are meant to be private and this is not really my story I’m really just a “supporting actor”. I also hesitate I’m not one of those depressing “everything sucks” kind of people that wants to whine – I would rather smile and laugh and enjoy myself. But the more I think about it I think this is part of what is going on right now too. Even though this blog is called Best of Life Seen all Week - my life really isn’t just travel adventures, street fairs, craft projects, and things I love (well mostly is it). Sometimes there are sad & angry moments too. So this is why I’m sharing this although I will leave out specifics to not be too hurtful.
I try not to be angry and vengeful but sometimes it’s very hard. When someone is harassing your mom to the point of ridiculous after she has made her intentions very clear - it is very hard to restrain yourself. I want so badly to go over to my stepdad’s and yell and scream “Get a F&%$ing life!”, or “Leave my mom alone already S*%$head!” and make a big scene in his front yard so all of his neighbors see it and he’s really quite ashamed and may never leave his house again. I want Schreve to take him down a notch or 10 - is that so wrong?
I want to believe that the court system will not side in the favor of evil people who cannot even admit they are wrongdoing and assume no responsibility for their own actions. I want to know that they will prevail when they can’t even grant her a restraining order to protect her from his silliness. They have to right?
I want my mom to know that she deserves to be loved unselfishly, unconditionally and uncontrolled. By someone who doesn’t just buy her a dishwasher & garage door opener, or goes to church with her – but does all of these things and more because they want to do them too. I want her to know that she is a strong woman and I believe in her. And she deserves friendships that last a lifetime and can receive gifts of kindness and she shouldn’t feel unworthy. I want her to treasure every moment of every day from here forward because she missed some of that in the last 18 years.
I want to know that my sister is not going to be a pawn of my stepdad’s. I want her to find happiness again. And to do all the things that you do in highschool without thinking about her parents. I want all of this and more.
Most of all I want to wrap my mom and my sister and even Schreve up in a blanket and protect them from all of this hassle and tell them that everything will be okay. And when they unwrap everything is okay and it’s a smiley happy world and don’t have to think about this sh&% anymore. Is that too much to ask?
Mom, Lita, Schreve - When you read this – I just want you to know it will be OKAY. I promise. And I really do think in a year or so and we will look back and say this divorce was just a testament to our family bond. We will remember fondly to the evenings of family conference calls, trips to liberty, surprise blessings, all the angry moments, and how we rose above it all and loved each other more and it will truly be the “Best Divorce Seen All Year” and we will give mom a trophy and a plaque and have a good chuckle because that’s what Jones&Co’s do.

3 comments:

  1. Love ya Katie girl. I can tell your heart is breaking for your family. Keep them close to your heart and treasure all the small moments. Everything will be ok.

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  2. oh, Katie, my heart breaks for you all. it is hard, it is tough, it is life. and you are right, there are moments of goodness too. what you said is the best gift you could ever give to you mom & sister. and no, none of those feelings are wrong, it's how you feel, plain & simple. sending you hugs! elle

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